Tell Ashley Judd that her Vagina Needs to be Bleached !

We have Ashley Judd screaming about her face, Rosie yelling about her weight and a lot of other celebrities kvetching about their oppression for not being prefect and judged if they even look like they try.  There is just no winning;  you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.   The truth is many of us are sick and tired of thinking that we are too fat, too thin, too flat, too wrinkled, too saggy and just not ENOUGH.   While waiting in line for my groceries at the Piggly Wiggley I admit looking through the Star tabloid to see those undercover pics of cellulite thighs, obvious boob jobs, enlarged primate-looking lips and plastic surgeries gone wrong.   Oh my God, I could have crawled into their dimpled fat pockets on the backs of their legs and shrieked in joy.  Yes I said that and so did many of you.  Why?  because they asked for it,  they created a standard few of us can achieve, at least after our 30’s.   I don’t have a plastic surgeon on my calling list, do you?   The closest I come to a personal trainer is lugging six heavy grocery bags in from the car in one trip and my husband and kids yelling to me, “is dinner ready yet?” 

Women are angry.  Every f—-ing day we have to be compared to  watermelon  sized asses and cantaloupe titties- all on a size 2.   I thought that was bad, but now we are totally, and I mean totally reduced to crap.  Because all of us, Ashley Judd included, has to worry about upgrading their vage, as in vagina.  Yes, that sacred vessel, crimped between our thighs, few of us have ever bothered to explore, except perhaps with a mirror and a shaver, before a date, needs to be mangled some more- it needs to be bleached!